Lost and Found

Georgia rang the bell for the second time, beginning to get impatient and aggravated. She was not the type of woman who enjoyed being kept waiting. It was a sign of disrespect is what it was and she wouldn’t stand for it. Georgia held herself in high regard and believed she deserved only the best, not only in service, but in every aspect of life. She was often heard complaining loudly in public places, about a thing not being closely enough resembling her own impeccable understanding of what that thing should be like. She would not pay for above-par service and if the thing wasn’t returned to her soon, in the way she knew, though would never explain, it should be, then they could lose her future custom. For most of the places she visited this was a reward rather than a punishment; her high self-regard was not shared by others who met her.

‘I Wouldn’t Wish a Whale Skeleton On Anyone’

‘You can’t leave them here!’

Pyenson, with a small jump, turned towards the noise and saw the silhouette of a man, but he couldn’t see who it was as the sun was in his eyes. Raising his arm and using it for its unintended purpose he blocked out the sun revealing a police officer standing on the ridge of the excavation site.

‘Pardon?’ was all he could think to respond.

‘All this junk,’ said the officer waving his hand over the maze of bones and tools, ‘it can’t stay here.’

Dream Job

Bored. Bored, bored, bored. Slow. Dreary. Tedious.

Time does not shop here. Even the automatic doors sigh pathetically as they slide slowly closed behind each triumphant shopper, shuddering together, only to be separated again by the inevitable arrival of the next customer.

One in. One out.

Sometimes I honestly think they queue up outside, just out of sight around the corner, and intentionally stagger their visits.

Picking up Penguins

 

The zookeeper grabbed a small fish from the pile in the ice-tray. He propped the fish’s mouth open. The small creature appeared to be surprised, but it probably wasn’t as it had no knowledge of its current predicament, or any other predicament, or, for that matter, anything, as it was dead. The zookeeper then pushed the white circular disc gently into the mackerel’s gaping mouth so that it was just visible. Were the fish alive, which it confirmedly wasn’t, it would have protested against this violation. However it made no move of any kind as it unknowingly mouthed the zookeeper’s finger and accepted the pill. The medicine had no effect on the mackerel. This could be because the pill was nothing more than sugar. It could also have been because the fish was, as previously stated, dead.

VP113

He leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms behind his head, yawning and rubbing his face as he did so, before sitting forward with a determined resignation. On the desk in front of him was an array of papers and charts depicting the solar system with empirical detachment, a laptop open on the Wikipedia page for ‘mythology’ and a half empty mug of coffee. It was only a few years ago that Aaron would have considered that coffee half full.

The Reserve

The black bulk paced along the familiar path; a path that had been forged through the trees, through repetition and through time by him and his family. With each step he took all his muscles in all his limbs bulged and constricted displaying his immense power. Despite this powerful potential the Gorilla was exhibiting great caution as it patrolled the perimeter. Everything suspicious was inspected keenly. Anything edible was tested, thoroughly. Eventually the animal came upon a clearing with a river passing through. He stopped at the edge of a clearing. This was the area he disliked. It made him paranoid.