Lost and Found

Georgia rang the bell for the second time, beginning to get impatient and aggravated. She was not the type of woman who enjoyed being kept waiting. It was a sign of disrespect is what it was and she wouldn’t stand for it. Georgia held herself in high regard and believed she deserved only the best, not only in service, but in every aspect of life. She was often heard complaining loudly in public places, about a thing not being closely enough resembling her own impeccable understanding of what that thing should be like. She would not pay for above-par service and if the thing wasn’t returned to her soon, in the way she knew, though would never explain, it should be, then they could lose her future custom. For most of the places she visited this was a reward rather than a punishment; her high self-regard was not shared by others who met her.

‘Excuse me!’ she exclaimed ringing the bell for the third, fourth and fifth time in succession. Her tone did not compliment the usual politeness of the request. ‘Disgraceful,’ she mumbled to herself. The suffering she was enduring right now was already pumping her up for a right thorough complaint. She looked around for someone to aim the torrent of righteousness which was just begging to be delivered. No-one was there.

She stormed out of the room and headed towards reception. The flood of justice she was holding back on the way was beginning to leak out of her like the first drop through a cracked damn. Typical she thought to herself as her lips moved forming the shape of the word silently. She reached reception and a middle-aged man in uniform looked up from his work with an offensively friendly smile.

‘How may i…’

Georgia wasn’t going to allow him the upper hand in this exchange so early on. She rang the bell in front of him aggressively. The officer was slightly taken aback but recovered his friendly expression with barely any hesitation.

‘Yes mam. How can I help you?’ said the policeman.

‘I have been kept waiting down stairs in your lost and found department for twenty minutes,’ she complained, utilising one of the many tools in her arsenal; exaggeration. In reality she had been in the building less than two minutes. ‘You’re supposed to have a duty, nah, an obligation to serve the public. It’s an absolute travesty, it’s an embarrassment to your entire force.’ She smiled internally although made sure her facial expression remained as glaringly offended as possible. She knew that this would receive the look of discomfort she knew this villain deserved. But, no, not even a twitch.

‘Mam, I am so sorry. You are completely right. It’s despicable. Especially from us, who need to set a good example. Can I ask what you are looking for? And maybe I can assist you’ he said genuinely.

Oh he’s good, Georgia thought. Exaggeration having failed she decided it was time to bring out the big guns.

‘My husband was a policeman,’ she lied, ‘and he’d be spinning in his grave if he knew the treatment I was receiving. So listen here, sonny’, she watched his face as she attacked with the word sonny. It was one of her favourites and she knew even the calmest tempered individual had difficulty shaking it off. Once again however she was disappointed, so she continued, ‘I deserve and demand more respect than this.’

‘Again, maam, I am sincerely apologetic for the unfair mistreatment you have received and will do anything I can to rectify the situation. I’ll come down to the lost and found with you and personally see if we can find your property’ he said with no hint of sarcasm touching his concerned expression.

Still very much disapproving his lack of disapproval she had no choice but to follow him back down the stairs to the lost and found department.

‘May I ask what it is you have lost?’ asked the gentleman, gentlemanly.

‘That’s private!’ retorted Georgia knowing that she has finally found a roadblock which this man’s manners could never overcome.

‘I understand. Well if you follow me I can let you have a search through the belongings and maybe you can find what you’re looking for.’ He led her through a door behind the counter into a room with several boxes, bikes and clothing.

‘How am I supposed to find it in amongst this junk?’ she demanded beginning to ponder over this man’s mental alignment.

‘Can I ask how recently you noticed it missing?’

‘That’s none of your business.’

‘I don’t mean to pry, it’s just that the more recent the discovery the closer to the front of the room the item will be.’

‘Well, I suppose it can’t hurt to tell you I misplaced it sometime today.’

‘Ok, this box here is things handed in today.’ He grabbed the box on a shelf next to the door. It only had one item in it. A book titled ‘Social Understanding’.

‘That’s it,’ Georgia exclaimed grabbing it from the man, secretly peeved that he succeeded so quickly. Her reservoir of criticism was still three quarters full and she had intended on this form of social retribution lasting many hours. She stared at the man, her conqueror, and found she had absolutely nothing to complain about. This made her want to complain all the more and she started to scratch her elbow uncomfortably. Unable to find any words of poor taste she swiftly turned and stormed out indignantly. As she was leaving she considered the incident. It was not possible that she had been outplayed. She decided on retrospect that the officer had in fact been a man of quality and he had genuinely empathised with her. Not an entirely bad chap, she thought.

The officer followed her retreat maintaining the inviting expression on his face until he heard the door at the top of the stairs close. His expression broke and his shoulder slouched. ‘What a bitch,’ he said out loud. As he relaxed, the door opposite the lost property locker opened and another two officer entered clapping enthusiastically.

‘Well done,’ said the first.

‘Very well done indeed,’ echoed the other.

A real smile appeared on the heroes face, and the artificiality of his previous interaction was stunningly obvious. ‘Pay up,’ he requested. He reached out and gratefully accepted the two twenties he had just earned.